... I'm angry, and sad, and sick. I'm tired and fed up.
I'm just soooo fucking done.
you know when you're just so angry and everyone knows something is up and you just hold it in until you are on your own and you just cry... then you know how I'm feeling right now.
I dunno whats up,or more I do and I don't.
Jason...he just lives so far away... I mean theres a fuck ton of water and land between up... and I haven't seen him in about 3 months and I'm starting to crack up. I find myself snapping for no reason and crying my self to sleep and the fact that 80% of my friends are in relationships and flaunt it around me, hurts me alot. and they don't mean to, its just... I just miss jason soooooo much and the fact that they can hold and kiss eachother and I can't do that with Jason right now...I'm jelouse... really fucking jelouse... and I'd wish they could be more considerate... kiss eachother sure, but don't cuddle eachother right next to me, or make out with I'm trying to talk to you while having a fag with ye...
I also feel people are taking advantage of me, people know that I'm abit shy at times and won't say how I really feel and use that to their advantage. they think they can use my stuff, or talk to me in a certain way and I won't do anything. I find myself supressinng rage at times when this stuff happens... My hand is killing me from punching the wall today at work because everything just got abit too much, I also left early and cried for a good 20 mins today aswel... and this isn't just friends who are botheirng its best friends, people who I love and trust treating me like a second class citzen... I just wanna go home and never talk to them again at this point... I'm just so done with everything
My head is just over flwoing and evrything is getting too much between all the stuff thats hapening with work and pride, then family over then getting ready for college... I'm not ready..
I don't even want to be here,
I want to gone,
I want to be dead.