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I feel alone,
I feel depressed.
How do I tell you with out you getting manically worried
How do I tell you that,
knowing what it would do to you.
How could I tell I love you when I don't even know what you smell like anymore
what you sound like with out background skype noise,
what you felt like.
How could I love you if you weren't in front of me.
1 month maybe
He's picking up pieces...
you don't feel real anymore.
You are a beautiful dream
that I can't have.
and I can't take it
YOU DON'T GIVE ME A WEEK AND NEVER COME TO SEE ME EVER...
that is inhumane...
I'm crying writing this
I'm dead on the inside
anyone will tell you,
I lost the love in me.
you made me hallow...
you complete me...
and you are over there...
I love you
but I can't love you.
one day more foreverI dream of the day, when I no longer have to sleep in fear,
the day where I can say and mean, "no, and if you do, I'll tell Jason"
the days where if something bad happens, I can run to him and cry,
the days where he needs me, I can comfort him,
the day where I can see him everyday,
but it may never come,
because its too far away
Bitter sweey realityI live in her shadow every day,
though we are almost the same,
she is better,
People look up to her,
see her as smart, intelligent,
everything I am not,
I am invisible to the world when I am very visible to the hate, I stand alone where no one can see me, yet when I crave for invisablity I am most visible, loved by some hated by most, I stand alone amoung many people. who am I.
I am nothing
UntitledI love the way you make my laugh,
I love the way you hold my hand,
how your fingers fit perfectly between mine,
as if they were both hand crafed by a master crafts man.
I love how worried you get,
about the most stupid of things,
even though I know,
it means so much to you.
I love the way you smile,
you don't care,
not when I'm around.
I love the way you love me,
for all the madness,
for all the crazy.
1the way to my heart is not the way to my head,
they both lead different lives.
eager to love,
but if you want the way to my heart,
you need to go through my head.
Delusion becomes meDelusion becomes me
it echoes with the listless duty
of confining me
within the horrid tyranny
of my own fiction.
There will be no coup
no revolution nor rebellion
no cries for reality
nor exuberance of freedom
only the echoes of duty.
The monotonous drown of forgeries,
atrocities, and apologies,
the dying screams
of impoverished souls
of fancy and fantasy,
the rapacious shouts
of fallacious joy over
the births of new yet
lovely children of fate and belief,
more loudly the gunfire
these shouts are meant to cloud
horribly loud in themselves
though they quiet some of the screams,
and finally the repetition
of my own whispers
,my own words,
repeating the implication
and imagery of every sound
as is my duty.
My duty t know
every tragedy and ever
XVIII (Melting Brain)XVIII (Melting Brain)
18 days left till 18.
and i feel x plus something
equals the sum of adulthood.
and i’m missing the formula
to add that math up
so i subtract myself from it
in hopes of finding the answer.
damn it to hell, i missed a step.
so i make it a fraction
and hope that divides a prime number.
but that only multiplies the anxiety
because i know that doesn’t come out real.
and i can’t separate myself from reality
because what you add on one side
you must do to the other
when the variable isn’t known.
(and basically, you can be imaginative
but you have to make it a reality
or it’s just an idea
and ideas don’t get you paid
and realities eat money
like hungry hippos
but democrats are donkeys
and republicans are elephants.)
and no matter how many moments
i try to make into a solvable problem
the issue only comes out as x.
so let’s put it into a science.
i was born on the 19th of october,
Indie Wraps Around My EarsIndie Wraps Around My Ears
i like indie rap because it’s art
trapped under a stigma of astigmatism
which is probably why my favorite rappers
wear art frame glasses to see miss
and conception. or somethin’.
i like indie rap because i see myself
in the dudes who weren’t popular enough
to make it into the main’s ear,
soundwaves, or bloodstream
but those other weirdos
wearing sweater vests
with a gold cross linked round necks,
bow ties and nine fifty fitteds.
i like indie rap because i can whisper
broken assonance confused for direct rhymes
and snort lines and hide behind bars
and listen to prison songs
without ending up under the jail.
i like indie rap because i can repeat words
and look cool so words slice through eyes
like swords through irises
because i swore that i’d write
what sounds right and how i’d want
even if you don’t understand how i pen.
so even if my pupil can't pin
down these tones, rhythm, and space
we know tones sigh l
Relief. Relief, oh sweet relief
Miles and miles away
Now, like a nice warm bed
It floods me like the Nile,
Nourishing the irrigation of my veins;
Oh relief, tears of joy
And I will only be honest in this once -
I feared you had left already,
And I had not known you well enough
To understand this.
Today, I am happy
All I could sayIs take care
No harm will be wish upon you
No hatred thrown at you
I will not run after you like I used to
I will not explain myself anymore
I told you enough
So take care
QuartzI am your enigma
I am all that you despise
I am all that you adore
And I never leave your side
I consume the world around you
I am every step you take
I hover just below you
And make your heart ache
I am everywhere and nowhere
I am alive and I am dead
I’m in your head and in your heart
The monster under your bed
I am the caresses you crave
And the kisses you desire
I am the love you deserve
The attention you serve
So I’m not so pure and clear
And I don’t have a golden sheen
My cheeks aren’t sweetly rosy
My purple grace is not mien
My skin’s not milky or sublime
I’m not even shiny gray
I am just a fragile crystal
Almost black from decay
Hermes' Wings Need to be ShinedI'm replacing my eyes so I can stare at the ceiling
and watch as the cars' shadows run past
my window; I'm sick of this bed. I'm tired of this sickness.
I'm tired of being called diseased like I'll get you sick,
stay away from me.
You never left. You never left me alone.
I want to be alone, away from you who sends me endless messages
a day saying how I've done you wrong and caused you so much stress
that I've depressed you, and yet you still come to me with your
"baby, I need you"s; and I can't lie,
I've stretched myself far enough "baby", what you need
is to find someone else who will be your mother
because I'm done "baby"ing you.
I will not rock your cradle, or your world, or
your rocking chair when you get old 'cause god knows
I'm ailing from that motion and I'm just waiting 'till
I'm kneeling before toilet water because I've been struck with sea sickness.
Maybe I brought you good, but god damn it this
this is no good for me to be tied up by your threats of suicide;
IEC 5009IEC 5009
red ring circuit cut, circa unknown
variable change to the power
of the broken infinity symbol-
ic(e) like jewelry, freeze up,
and choke on the chain.
Almost and closeWhat is death but the lack of beauty
that I find in you and me,
the trees that accompany my poetry,
the sky that feels lost,
vast and knowledgeable as it is,
in front of my pleas?
Don't blame the music
sometimes, only it could seal my wounds
and stop the bleeding
but I've given some thought
to the new slate, a pristine name -
I could let my next reincarnation
bring truthful fulfillment
Life is but a DreamWe are just unnourished frail bodies,
overfed with white lies and short-lived-euphorias.
Books filled with black letters,
etching lurid images into our utmost dreams.
Veering us from the big picture...
the one we fail to paint ourselves.
Our fists much too busy with fights,
that we are bound to lose.
Too occupied in line waiting,
for creativity to be let loose like a stray dog.
As if we will find home in this pursuit of happiness...
but we only enclose each other in small rooms
with nothing but old laptops.
How many times I've guessed which letter could it be...
Which letter could it be?
To free us from havoc-stricken-thoughts?
They come and go, unending like 24 hour subway stations.
There's no break for this lonely man,
heaving every breathe of stale air
into my overused lungs...
Living in confined walls of flesh
held up with brittle paper-mache bones.
Which day is it that I will burst out from this cage of a life?
And hover with the Gods found in carefully binded bo
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A two-time Community Volunteer for the deviantART Related category, Anne is well-known as a positive, helpful force. She is the community's resident expert when it comes to CSS (Cascading Style Sheets), and her personal gallery offers a wide variety of tutorials for new and experienced coders alike. In addition, each winter she hosts a calendar project encouraging members to create Journal designs for all to use, bringing more creativity to the community.
It is with immense gratitude that we acknowledge Anne as the recipient of the Deviousness Award for October 2014. Read More